Spoilers follow....
Here's my synopsis of the movie.
Perseus: Damn the gods!
King & Queen of Argos: Damn the gods!
Andromeda, princess of Argos: Mom, Dad, you're embarrassing me!
Army of Argos: Damn the gods!
Hades: Damn this, motherfuckers!
Everybody: Arrrrrrrgh! [Dies.]
Hades: Feed Andromeda to myBalrog Kraken, or I'll be mean.
Andromeda: Oh, poo.
Io: Don't worry, Perseus, I'm looking out for you.
Perseus: Gemma Arterton! You're, like, totally hot. Way hotter than Andromeda.
Io: Yeah. I decided not to screw this god once, so he made me immortal.
Perseus: o_0
Grizzled veteran of Argos: So, Perseus, it looks like you're the son of Zeus.
Perseus: No!!!!! That's impossible!
Giant Scorpions: Raaar!
Perseus: Damn the gods!
Grizzled veteran of Argos: Use thelightsaber magic sword!
Perseus: No!!!!
Grizzled veteran of Argos: Ok, how about usingThe Force your godhood?
Perseus: No!!!! That's impossible!
Grizzled veteran of Argos: Gonna be a long night.
Perseus: Look, scorpion guts!
Perseus: Oh dear, I believe I've been hurt.
Djinnbots of Cultural Diversity: [Cure Serious Wounds] [Neutralize Poison]
Perseus: Sweet!
Zeus: Perseus, join me, and together we can rulethe galaxy Olympus as father and son.
Perseus: Damn the gods!
Zeus: Well, here, at least take some spending money.
Perseus: Sweet!
Charon: None shall pass!
Chris de Burgh: Don't pay the ferryman!
Djinnbots of Cultural Diversity: Oh for fuck's sake, pay the ferryman. The scorpion is double-parked.
Io: We should feel kind of sorry for Medusa, you know. All she wanted was to not be raped by Poseidon, but he totally raped her, and she asked Athena for a morning-after pill, but Athena was all like, "Snakes, bitch."
Perseus: Harsh. Gonna help me kill this bitch?
Io: Hell no.
Perseus: Damn the gods!
Medusa: Snakes!
Everyone except Perseus: Sna--!
Medusa: Heh.
Perseus: Damn the go--oo, shiny!
Medusa: Shiny?
Perseus: Chop the gods!
Medusa: Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes? [Dies.]
Perseus: Hm. Paper or plastic?
Calibos: A ha!
Io: Oh dear, I'm dead!
Perseus: No!!!!
Calibos: [Bitch slap] I bet you wish you had a magic sword now!
Perseus: !
Calibos: Oh, you do have a magic sword.
Perseus: Damn the gods!
Hades: Zeus, it's time to release the Kraken.
Zeus: Ok. I'm sure people won't blame me for this.
Andromeda: Keep calm and carry on, people. Just sacrifice me to the sea monster and everything will be OK.
People of Argos: Ok.
Andromeda: Well you didn't have to agree with me that quickly.
People of Argos: No takebacks!
Andromeda: Oh, poo.
Perseus: Damn the gods!
Kraken: Raaar! [Smashes Argos.]
Perseus: Snakes, bitch!
Kraken: Sna--!
People of Argos: Nice timing, asshole.
Perseus: Damn the gods!
Andromeda: My hero!
Perseus: Look, um, it's not you, it's me....
Andromeda: Oh, poo.
Zeus: Good job, son!
Perseus: Why did so many people have to die?
Zeus: They had it coming. If you don't want to be soft-rocked by me, you're gonna get hate-fucked by Hades*.
Perseus: Damn the gods!
Zeus: But just to show there's no hard feelings, here: have another Gemma Arterton.
Perseus: Praise the gods!
Io: Sweet!
Perseus: Wait a minute. If I remember my Greek mythology correctly, Io is the handmaiden of Hera that Zeus -- I mean, Dad -- pursued across the Mediterranean until he -- I mean, you -- finally impregnated her and gave birth to two lines of king-heros, one of which eventually included my mother, which means you totally boned your own great-great-whatever granddaughter in order to have me, and now you want me to get nasty with my own great-great-great-whatever grandmother so that I won't make trouble?
Zeus: Ummm.
Perseus: And you, Io, I thought you said you decided not to screw that god once!
Io: Ummm, there are kind of a lot of gods, you know.
Zeus: But look, it's totally cool. Hymen reconstruction surgery can do amazing things these days.
Io: True.
Perseus: Damn the gods!
___
* Hate-Fucked by Hades? Awesome name for a band.
Here's my synopsis of the movie.
Perseus: Damn the gods!
King & Queen of Argos: Damn the gods!
Andromeda, princess of Argos: Mom, Dad, you're embarrassing me!
Army of Argos: Damn the gods!
Hades: Damn this, motherfuckers!
Everybody: Arrrrrrrgh! [Dies.]
Hades: Feed Andromeda to my
Andromeda: Oh, poo.
Io: Don't worry, Perseus, I'm looking out for you.
Perseus: Gemma Arterton! You're, like, totally hot. Way hotter than Andromeda.
Io: Yeah. I decided not to screw this god once, so he made me immortal.
Perseus: o_0
Grizzled veteran of Argos: So, Perseus, it looks like you're the son of Zeus.
Perseus: No!!!!! That's impossible!
Giant Scorpions: Raaar!
Perseus: Damn the gods!
Grizzled veteran of Argos: Use the
Perseus: No!!!!
Grizzled veteran of Argos: Ok, how about using
Perseus: No!!!! That's impossible!
Grizzled veteran of Argos: Gonna be a long night.
Perseus: Look, scorpion guts!
Perseus: Oh dear, I believe I've been hurt.
Djinnbots of Cultural Diversity: [Cure Serious Wounds] [Neutralize Poison]
Perseus: Sweet!
Zeus: Perseus, join me, and together we can rule
Perseus: Damn the gods!
Zeus: Well, here, at least take some spending money.
Perseus: Sweet!
Charon: None shall pass!
Chris de Burgh: Don't pay the ferryman!
Djinnbots of Cultural Diversity: Oh for fuck's sake, pay the ferryman. The scorpion is double-parked.
Io: We should feel kind of sorry for Medusa, you know. All she wanted was to not be raped by Poseidon, but he totally raped her, and she asked Athena for a morning-after pill, but Athena was all like, "Snakes, bitch."
Perseus: Harsh. Gonna help me kill this bitch?
Io: Hell no.
Perseus: Damn the gods!
Medusa: Snakes!
Everyone except Perseus: Sna--!
Medusa: Heh.
Perseus: Damn the go--oo, shiny!
Medusa: Shiny?
Perseus: Chop the gods!
Medusa: Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes? [Dies.]
Perseus: Hm. Paper or plastic?
Calibos: A ha!
Io: Oh dear, I'm dead!
Perseus: No!!!!
Calibos: [Bitch slap] I bet you wish you had a magic sword now!
Perseus: !
Calibos: Oh, you do have a magic sword.
Perseus: Damn the gods!
Hades: Zeus, it's time to release the Kraken.
Zeus: Ok. I'm sure people won't blame me for this.
Andromeda: Keep calm and carry on, people. Just sacrifice me to the sea monster and everything will be OK.
People of Argos: Ok.
Andromeda: Well you didn't have to agree with me that quickly.
People of Argos: No takebacks!
Andromeda: Oh, poo.
Perseus: Damn the gods!
Kraken: Raaar! [Smashes Argos.]
Perseus: Snakes, bitch!
Kraken: Sna--!
People of Argos: Nice timing, asshole.
Perseus: Damn the gods!
Andromeda: My hero!
Perseus: Look, um, it's not you, it's me....
Andromeda: Oh, poo.
Zeus: Good job, son!
Perseus: Why did so many people have to die?
Zeus: They had it coming. If you don't want to be soft-rocked by me, you're gonna get hate-fucked by Hades*.
Perseus: Damn the gods!
Zeus: But just to show there's no hard feelings, here: have another Gemma Arterton.
Perseus: Praise the gods!
Io: Sweet!
Perseus: Wait a minute. If I remember my Greek mythology correctly, Io is the handmaiden of Hera that Zeus -- I mean, Dad -- pursued across the Mediterranean until he -- I mean, you -- finally impregnated her and gave birth to two lines of king-heros, one of which eventually included my mother, which means you totally boned your own great-great-whatever granddaughter in order to have me, and now you want me to get nasty with my own great-great-great-whatever grandmother so that I won't make trouble?
Zeus: Ummm.
Perseus: And you, Io, I thought you said you decided not to screw that god once!
Io: Ummm, there are kind of a lot of gods, you know.
Zeus: But look, it's totally cool. Hymen reconstruction surgery can do amazing things these days.
Io: True.
Perseus: Damn the gods!
___
* Hate-Fucked by Hades? Awesome name for a band.